Why is it a bad thing that I'm passive aggressive? There are no passive aggressive people. There is passive aggressive behavior.
So passive aggressive people are not bad. Passive aggressive behavior causes some undesirable consequences. If that is all there is, then the main question becomes: Who is the evil one?
If we make behavior about the person, it is impossible to see it when we do it ourselves. We will find some way to justify our stance. Passive aggressive behavior is like going to the doctor and not telling him the symptom. And expecting him to treat your trouble.
But it sounds silly? Why the hell would any patient do it?
The above is not a justification for indulging in Passive aggressive behavior. People know some things are bad. It is just that the alternative sounds worse. So we stick with the lesser evil.
If you indulge in passive aggressive behavior, know that you are not bad. You are just afraid. Afraid of having your feelings hurt even more. Articulating them, facing them, taking the risk of being blamed back, or of being proven wrong.
You know you should not feel this way. But they are feelings right? My suggestion is to understand what is happening.
To see what exactly it is you are afraid of. You experience an uncomfortable feeling. Let us say anger. If you do express it directly, you are afraid of more uncomfortable feelings. There is exactly one type of response you are wishing for from the other person that will make you feel better.
And you think the chances of getting it are pretty slim.
Your mind is instead busy visualizing the scary alternatives. Which would lead to anxiety, guilt, humiliation, shame… in that order.
Do feelings have a type? They have intensity, yes.
But not a type. This pushing away is the intensity you feel.
Tantalizing is being passive aggressive a bad thing naked xxx
And as the intensity increases, you start giving it new labels like anxiety, guilt, humiliation, shame. The intensity of pushing increases further. And you become even more afraid. A mind in an unhealthy state cannot come up with healthy ideas. You have to recognize the unhealthy state and let it heal itself.
Once it does, you will gain perspective. Your wisdom will emerge. You will say it when you are no longer afraid of the other Splitting one uncomfortable feeling into 99 and living in constant fear of them is the bad part.
Be kind to yourself. If you blame yourself for something - you will never be able to get past it. This question originally appeared on Quora - the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world.
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Elections HQ Senate 35 seats. How does passive aggressive behavior happen? Of course he cannot. Maybe because he is an evil person who wants to make the doctor feel incompetent and guilty. Or maybe because he has a problem that he is embarrassed to talk about - like a sexual issue. The humiliation seems more painful than the problem itself.
Now you have cancer!
Will we also blame the doctor then? Maybe the doctor is very kind and would never blame him.
But the patient is too afraid to find out. You are basically afraid of experiencing an intense feeling.
Had you just let the feeling be, it would pass. Not grow to be the mountain you made it. Then I thought it might be illogical to expect you to mind read… so I wanted to ask for something.