From money to politics to moving in together, learn when and how to bring up the touchiest subjects.
Whether it's the first date or the 50th, there are going to be some topics both you and your partner feel less-than-psyched to talk about.
Think of conversation topics as a circle, suggests Kelly Campbell, Ph.
Here, we'll cover when, how, and why to bring up seven sticky situations that most couples face. When to bring it up: The first date—but keep it general In the getting-to-know-you-phase of any relationship, talking about what you do from nine to five is fair game, says Campbell.
Your career is a good topic for a first date, since it's not overly personal. If you hate your job or feel slighted over not getting a promotion, keep it to yourself on the first few dates.
Rather than complain about your boss all dinner long, talk about where you hope your career will go in the future, or segue into other topics outside the office, suggests Campbell. Tell him about training for your upcoming marathon, and ask what he likes to do in his spare time too.
Another area that can be sensitive for some people is discussing salary. The first date if you want!
Setting an arbitrary, inflexible rule about sleeping with someone is a bad idea, says Campbell, since it can interfere with the organic flow of a relationship. However, if you know you tend to get attached quickly, be careful of scheduling an adult sleepover too soon.
But sharing anything more personal your sex life and number of partners, for example is up to you to decide. When you really trust your partner This includes intimate details from your past, like a parent or sibling passing away, or an eating disorder or other health issue. And neither of those is a good reason to move in together.
You can subtly bring it up by talking broadly about the future: How do they feel about people living together before marriage? Do they see themselves living in the same cities or states as you want to?
Before you decide to get hitched, wait for the touchy two-year mark to pass. How Soon Is Too Soon? Join Now Log In.
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Search form Search Shape Magazine. You should be on the same page about whether or not to have kids, of course, but your discussion should go deeper than that: Talk about how you want to raise them, will you raise them religiously and in which faith, how will you discipline them, etc.
How do they stand on issues like abortion or gun control?