After my ex-girlfriend and I broke up several years ago, I never felt more alone in my life. I hung up the phone with tears streaming down my face as I stepped into my new reality.
I only had one friend in the world, who happened to live fairly far away, so most of my newfound singlehood was spent alone. It was difficult for the first few weeks due to all the painful emotions that usually come with a breakup, but after a while the pain went away.
Usually I could keep a positive attitude and project the appearance was all okay, but truth be told, I was a very lonely person back then. Sometimes, a coworker or some acquaintance would ask if I was seeing anyone to make conversation. I told them that I was taking a break from dating for a while to heal from the breakup.
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However, I really had no idea how to meet people. After being in a relationship for seven How to overcome sadness and loneliness and losing touch with a lot of friends, my social skills were pretty much nonexistent. I wanted to meet people, make new friends, and date, but I really thought I was just incapable of doing it. At one point the loneliness just overwhelmed me. I was walking down a street one night. As I was passing by a busy restaurant, I looked in the window and saw so many people at quiet, intimate tables sharing smiles and conversations over candle light.
Is there something wrong with me?
It all just seemed so futile. That was likely one of my lowest moments in my life, at least when it comes to loneliness. Remember that feeling separate from others is the direct result of focusing on how others are different from us. When you look for differences, you will find them.
When you look for similarities, you will find them as well. Most of these categories include all the things that make them different from us.
If this sort of thinking continues, eventually, we will find ourselves standing alone against the entire world—us versus everyone else. There are indeed different circumstances and situations that we all have to How to overcome sadness and loneliness with; however, it is also just as easy to see that underneath all the differences we may have, we all share a common human experience. We all feel the emotions of pain, love, loneliness, fear, loss, sadness, and joy. When you start to understand that the human experience we share gives us more in common than the different circumstances we may be in, we can start to feel a lot closer to other people.
This is the way to begin to mend feelings of isolation and loneliness. Become curious about others and you will never be at a loss for words or feel unable to connect with them again.
Sure, they might keep the conversation going, and they can work well, if your goal is to avoid anything resembling an awkward silence.
Connection is achieved through shared experiences or empathizing with others. Instead, allow your curiosity to naturally steer the conversation. Ask a simple question.
Once you start to learn more about their feelings and opinions on things, you can start to develop a real bond. It may seem vulnerable to put yourself out thereand it is!
Loneliness can be something difficult to deal with, and it is a sad fact that so many people suffer from a lack of close friendships and connections, despite the fact that many of us live in or near major cities. There are people everywhere and I truly believe that all of us are worth getting to know.
Photo by Kara Allyson. Clay Andrews writes for the relationship advice blog The Path to Passion. He helps people feeling alone or stuck with their relationship situation find the love and connection that they want. He loves meeting new people. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other How to overcome sadness and loneliness advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment.
Click to opt-out of Google Analytics tracking. Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's not about me. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.
Click here to read more. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you feel lonely in your life: But silence only has to be awkward if you let it. Be brave and put a bit of yourself out there.
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