Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny relationship quotes, funny relationship sayings, and funny relationship proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met. Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?
Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed. I don't see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain't much of a recommendation for it. I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury. Marriage has no guarantees. Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders. Honesty is the key to a relationship. I can't make you love me.
Kickass funny quotes about women and relationships all porn pics
There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp. It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.
My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. True love is singing karaoke Under Pressure and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part. Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.
I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Wise Old Sayings is a database of thousands of inspirational, humorous, and thoughtful quotes, sorted by category for your enjoyment. Funny Relationship Sayings and Quotes Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny relationship quotes, funny relationship sayings, and funny relationship proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.
"There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and --Written by Emily Winter for HowAboutWeWhich quote can you relate to the.